When you were a child, your parents would say “no” to you in one of two voices. One was the kind you obeyed, a “NO” spoken in no uncertain terms. The other, more tentative sounding “no” sometimes led you to believe their answer wasn’t necessarily an absolute veto of what you had on your mind. As we got older and had children of our own (or will have) we have learned to use our voice in much the sa…