New names for unfashionable phrases

The Barbershop Think Tank come up with new names to replace unfashionable ones and phrases. Monkey Bars are Metal Trees or Banana Bars. Going Ape Poop is Mime Mania. A Barrel of Monkeys turns into a Keg of Mischievous Mammals. Monkey Pox becomes Primate Pox.

Junior Bickum was complaining about his mother-in-law to me, but he looked around first like he was gonna tell an offcolor joke. He said, “My …